All the ferns have unfurled, all the treetops are bursting with birds, and the spring blossoms have made way for the small hard unripened fruits that sometimes find their way to the ground and into my toddler’s pockets before they ever really had a chance to grow to their full potential. How does the tree decide which fruits to shed early, I wonder?
It has been very busy here, overwhelmingly so, but also idyllic in a way that is almost unspeakable. I go back and forth between feeling like everything is impossible because I can’t get everything done to satisfaction, to feeling like everything is impossible because it is so nice to be here, surrounded by happy laughing children, biking to a lake or a pool for a dip after kita, listening to jake strum away on a new song, going to children’s events in the neighborhood, watching Mack learn new things and be embraced by his various communities.
The other evening when we were biking through Gleisdreieck with some friends in the late evening, when the moon was out but the sky was still blue, Mack strung together his first two words to build a quasi-sentence: “Tschuss, moon!” Goodbye moon! Half German, half English, a gorgeous nonsense little sentiment, a beautiful moment. Life is so silly and satisfying as a parent of a young child. It’s also hard – we are still always at least a little sick with something.
So, life is full, and challenging. Our neighbourhood has transformed lately: a wine market has opened in the square, and the playgrounds have had their water features turned on. Everything is warmer, wetter, dirtier, dreamier.
I look around me, in the real world, where I mostly live, after having detoxed from the simulacra of social media, and I think about where most of the joy and meaning comes from in my life: moving my body, play and singing, eating, making something, sharing moments of silliness and intimacy, loving, being loved… and I wonder what digital technologies have really done to contribute to most of our lives, and whether instead they have been mostly distractions and drivers of loneliness. Can we find a way to use them to connect without conceding our world/views to the algorithm? I can’t help but think that what we need to thrive as a civilization is just a focus on basic support for actual people, time to create art, places to meet and share time together. Simple stuff that should come first before we need to worry about building a data centre on mars.
These photos are from before everything was lush and green. I haven’t had time to develop any photos lately. Maybe soon, before my chemicals expire…
